We plan to tell them about egg donation, and it's very possible they would want that part of their history to be private to our family. The problem is, I am not sure how my girls will feel about their donor egg origins. And the world without Madelyn and Lilly, exactly as they are? Not to be thought of. If I could wave a wand and make them my genetic children, they wouldn't be themselves. In the back of my mind, I can't forget that all of them know my girls' origins.įor me, it doesn't matter any longer what people think of my choice. Everybody in my family and group of friends treats my girls the same as all the other kids getting underfoot on holidays. I have two beautiful little girls born of anonymous egg donation. (My husband and family get no credit, as they are contractually obligated to endure.) Two of my dearest friends even offered to be donors.įast forward to today. To the everlasting credit of my friends, they put up with me. Talking, writing, and a lot of tears: That was how I worked through the grief of never being a genetic mother. And when I felt I needed even more self-expression, I started this blog. Business lunch, football party, it didn't matter - I talked about my issues. Anytime my girlfriends and I got together, I talked about my infertility and asked what they all thought about egg donation. Loudly, and to anyone who would listen.Īll my friends and family knew what the doctor said and how I felt about it. It was the death of the children I would never have, and I grieved my loss. This diagnosis was truly like a death in the family.
And he warned that if I pursued pregnancy with my eggs, I would have a high risk of miscarriage. He advised us to switch to a practice that could offer IVF with donor eggs. He told us the odds were long on having a child with my eggs. When I first learned at age 38 that I had diminished ovarian reserve, with a Clomid Challenge FSH of 40 (you all know what that means, right?), my doctor cut straight to the chase. And what do women tend to do about our problems, our struggles, our tragedies? We run a grueling course of monthly disappointment, failed cycles, and sometimes the heartbreak of miscarriage. Most of us come to egg donation after a long battle with infertility.
#KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW HOW TO#
Using donor eggs is rarely - never? - a woman's first choice for how to have a family. I realize it's strange for a woman who blogs on the public Web about egg donation, to tell others to keep quiet about it. Recently I had a blog comment from a lady who is just starting her journey with egg donation, and her post got me thinking back to that time.
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